How to Save a Life
by Winter Tiger
Summary: Even broken and hurting, Max is still Max. Even breaking apart, the flock is still the flock. AU, songfic to How to Save a Life by The Fray.


**How to Save a Life**

**_Summary: Even broken and hurting, Max is still Max. Even breaking apart, the flock is still the flock._**

_Step one you say we need to talk he walks_  
_You say sit down its just a talk_  
_He smiles politely back at you_  
_You stare politely right on through_

"Hi there, Max."

"Hey, Fang."

Awkward silence. _It didn't used to be like this!_ But that's a useless thought. He's off with that 'Fang Gang' of his, making out with Maya probably- my chest seizes up for some reason. It's always like this when I think of them.

_Some sort of window to your right_  
_As he goes left and you stay right_  
_Between the lines of fear and blame_  
_You begin to wonder why you came_

"So-"

I cut him off and move farther into the diner. "Let's go get a table."

"Yeah, sure."

Totally ignoring my attempts to get a table by the window, he approaches a booth in the corner and slides in.

_Have you forgotten?_ I want to scream at him, other customers and their peace be damned. We always take tables by the window, to watch out for any threat.

We used to, at least.

_Why did I even bother to call him here?_ I start to wonder, slumping in across, a tingling feeling of claustrophobia crawling up my spine.

"Getting confident, huh?" I say, making small talk. "Not claustrophobic anymore?"

"I was never claustrophobic." Lie.  
"And Maya helped me out of that paranoia stage."

_Screw Maya. What about me? My feelings? _Us?

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

"Why did you call me here?"

_Because you left. Isn't that obvious?_ But I don't say that.

"We need to talk. Have you even bothered to think what leaving would do to Angel? She gets afraid I'll leave her every time I go to the grocery store. And Nudge too. Without you here...everything is all wrong."

_Let him know that you know best_  
_Cause after all you do know best_  
_Try to slip past his defense_  
_Without granting innocence_

He shrugs.

"I made my choice. Maybe you should try that sometime. Get a life, stop living for the Flock."

I choke on my water. "What?!"

"Hey, think about it. Don't you get annoyed sometimes? Go out with Dylan or something. Dates seriously help."

My voice rises in a shout.

"You're talking about dates? I'm talking about us! And our family! What happened to being together forever?"

The customers are starting to stare, but I don't care.

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_  
_The things you've told him all along_  
_And pray to god he hears you_  
_I pray to god he hears you_

"You leave with some crap about 'for the best', and you go make out with some clone! Why?"

His face is stoic, expressionless.

"It was my fault wasn't it? Why? What did I do?"

I'm standing now, and suddenly I just feel so tired._ Please God, help me make this right._

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

"It is your fault. All your fault"

Fangs voice is so quiet, so contained, but I hear the anger. Burning. Lashing out.

_As he begins to raise his voice_  
_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_  
_Drive until you lose the road_  
_Or break with the ones you've followed_

"You neglected our relationship. You forgot our one month anniversary. You skip dates to bring Nudge to ballet classes, or buy peanut butter for Iggy to blow up."

The waitress hesitates at our table, holding a tray of our food.

Fang ignores her.

"At least Maya understands me. At least she takes time to watch a movie, snuggle in the couch. Your _clone_ is a better kisser than you, Max. She's better at everything."

"So you aren't coming back." Compared to his, my voice is so soft. So quiet.

"If you left The Flock, we could be together again."

Idiot. He knows I won't.

"Then there's no point in continuing this meeting, huh? I...guess I'll see you around sometime."

At the door I turn one last time. "And you can pay the bill."

The car (that we got last week) starts smoothly and I pull onto a random road.

Houses, businesses, trees flash past the window.

Leave the flock. Be with Fang. Why does my life have such difficult decisions to make?

I stop at a dead end and bury my face in my arms.

_He will do one of two things_  
_He will admit to everything_  
_Or he'll say he's just not the same_  
_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

Wings flap. Fang lands on the car.

"Max. I just want you to know that I'm not the Fang you knew. I've changed. And...maybe you should too."

Then he's gone.

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

"Fang! Wait!"

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

My last sight of him is wind blown hair, a strangled expression on his face, black wings beating powerfully.

_How to save a life_  
_How to save a life_

_Is there anything you could have done?_ I ask myself.

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

No. There wasn't. I couldn't do anything.

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

But...if I had...

_How to save a life_  
_How to save a life_

I'd always imagined us marrying on a sunny, cloudless morning, on a windswept cliff overlooking the ocean, the Flock all around us.

**A/N: So...Um...Yeah... Not a happy ending... Anyways since so many authors are probably doing fluffy stories I decided I'd be a rebel! *crickets*... Aaaanyways... I'll be posting a new chapter for To Fly soon (shameless plug...) ! Be on the lookout! **

**Oh and check out Maddi Jane's cover of_ If This Was a Movie_. It. Is so. AWESOME.**

**Happy Valentines Day everyone!**


End file.
